Do you ever wake up and think, "I don't want to be a food allergy mom today!" I feel this way more than I would like to admit.
As you might have noticed, I have been M.I.A. from this blog for the better part of the last few months. There are several reasons that go into this but one of them is the fact that some days I just don't want to be a food allergy mom!
I know some of you might think that since I blog about my son's peanut allergy that I have come to some sort of emotional ability to not get stressed and depressed about it all. But that just is not the case! My emotions come and go in intensity but some days I have a very difficult time with it.
I know most of you know what I'm talking about.
Now, imagine yourself writing a blog about the thing that has your stress level through the roof. Most days I work to make this blog an encouragement to peanut allergy parents. So it seems a bit ironic that I must sit down and write about it on days that I'm struggling with it. I just need a break from all that is involved with being a food allergy parent!
That is one reason I sometimes take a break. I need an emotional break. I need to have times where my mind is not revolving around the food allergies that can bring me to tears some days if I let them.
To combat what I am now terming "food allergy burnout" I plan to write some posts ahead of time so I have something to post when my brain cannot deal with food allergies. Hopefully this will help my absences that sometimes occur on this blog.
You may not blog about your child's peanut allergy but I am guessing you would like a break from food allergies some days, too. For myself, I refuse to feel guilty about this fact. You should not, either.
I have worked the last 4+ years setting up a system that keeps Tyler safe. I can't totally turn my brain off from his allergies but some days when I start to feel emotionally overwhelmed by it all, it is OK to just hit the "Off" button when it comes to worry and anxiety.
Anyone else ever encounter the "I need a day (or week!) off from food allergies" syndrome?
13 comments:
I definitely feel that way sometimes. Actually it seems like I'll go for quite a while without feeling a lot of stress with it and then other times when it's just really back in my face full force. Unfortunately for my son, he's in it every day.
I've been there already... and we've only been dealing with the allergies for 5 months. It just seems to be a constant bombardment to my brain... I have to be "on" at all times.. is this safe? Will there be any allergens at this place? Is that the beginning of a reaction? Can I keep everything out of her mouth?? (18 month old) I know it's tough.. but know that what you do post here is helpful for others.. and it's ok to take a break once in awhile.. I'm sure we all understand. :)
We are coming up on 3 years (with two food allergies), and I definitely need a break some days. I'm with Nicole - most of the time I'm fine, and then there's some event that sends my stress level through the roof. While it is stressful for me, I try to remember that it's all my daughter has ever known. She's not quite 4, and is *great* about asking if foods are safe (of course, I don't always depend on her asking....). She only rarely gets upset if we have to tell her something is not safe. Thankfully, her preschools and summer camps have also made it very easy to keep her safe - I know that we are pretty fortunate in this regard.
Thanks for all you are doing for all of the PA families out there. Take a break, and we'll look forward to 'seeing' you when you're back!
From the moment I found out my daughter had a PA until I had a total melt down (about 3 months)it seemed managable. Then during the melt down (I was also 6 months pregnant) I told my husband he needed to step up to the plate and start helping. Now he knows how to read labels and feed her safely without asking me to make her lunch and know what she can eat.
We have made a safe house for her at home. We do not have to worry about her getting into something here.....at home I can relax and know she is safe.
My fears - the day she starts school, going out to lunch, and the big one is traveling away from the safe house we have created and having to EAT OUT. She is only 2 and we found out about her PA when she was 15 months old. It has gotten a TON easier and I hope it will as she learns more about it. But I will NEVER forget her wheezing, coughing, and having hives from something I grew up LOVING.
I can relate completely. My stress levels have been climbing through the roof since my pa daughter will start kindergarten in the fall. She has attended a peanut free preschool so I have gotten really spoiled. There are many days I want to turn off the button and live in a safe bubble. I'm grateful for the information you post on this blog and certainly understand if you take time off to get away from the intensity of writing on the topic. I appreciate the information you provide.
Laura
Thanks for affirming that it really is ok to feel this way! Sometimes I feel so guilty when I start to let those thoughts creep into my head but I think it's only natural bcs it's like we're "on" 24/7...we are faced w/new situations every week and you just never know when you might run into a peanut somewhere! Every single cough or choking episode (just on "safe" foods or water) puts me on guard and it does get cumbersome at times. God has been reminding me a lot lately that He doesn't give us more than we can bear. So, somehow and for some reason, God thinks us PA moms can handle this. He has entrusted our children to us with that in mind AND He has given us His help and protection to get us through these days! So, we are truly never alone in this PA fight!
BTW, I did some digging through your blog and found that chart you made for church that shows what to do when for the careworkers. Was able to make our own based off of that and had some really great feedback from it from our church staff. It really helped them to have something concrete to follow just in case (plus, they liked the how to use the epipen diagram and was a good refresher)! Thank you!!
Yes!! ...and I took the week off-- got a sitter that we trust and left town for a retreat for a week. It was amazing, and fun, and not only did I need it-- but everyone else needed it too. I came back to healthy, happy kids with no reactions. If you need time off, take it. Everyone will be better for it. :0)
<>< Amy :0)
(Peanut, tree nut & soy allergy Momma!)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nt7hPIrZUBE
Here, here!! We just passed the 3 year mark. No one can understand this world fully unless you live in it! Glad I'm not alone!
I totally relate Robyn! Who wouldn't want to deal with food allergies? What keeps me going is the fact that is could always be worse. Thank God my beautiful daughter is not a diabetic or has cancer. Would it be better if I didn't worry about something she eats that could make her sick? Of course! But, for whatever reason, her PA exists, so I am always "on guard". Give yourself a break, and a pat on the back, knowing you do everything possible to protect your child.
Leave the rest in God's hands..
Dena in NY
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
How about some encouragement for you mothers of preschoolers? My PA son is 14 and his condition has become much less stressful in our family. His last reaction was in preschool! We dealt with the stress of having him away from home by making his teachers aware of his allergy and then trusting them (but mostly God) to take care of him. Please know it gets SO MUCH EASIER as they get older and can take on some of the responsibility themselves, knowing what they should and shouldn't eat. Don't believe Satan's lies that their safety is all up to you. God loves your children WAY more than you do. Trust HIM to keep them safe.
Think of this as an opportunity to develop great faith in God, not a stressful malady.
Definitely! I am looking forward to the school year ending just so I can take a break from the daily stress of what may happen at school.
I can definitely relate. I am feeling particularly pissy about peanut allergy today. Part of it is that other people really don't understand sometimes and it can be very difficult to keep your kid safe without having other people think you're neurotic. I have a friend coming into town this weekend that wants to hit a much loved dim sum restaurant that we used to frequent quite often. Only thing is, it's no longer safe for us to eat their with DJ. I suggested an alternative and was asked to 'think about it' Think about what? Taking DJ to a restaurant where an allergic reaction is almost guaranteed? There's not a lot to think about in my mind; it's not happening. Then, the suggestions to just bring his own food with us. Restaurants are in the business of selling food - I'm sure they don't appreciated and are unlikely to tolerate bringing your own from home. Not to mention, the idea of eating out is exactly that - eating out. And I never want to DJ to feel excluded, so the idea of eating something he can't have doesn't sit well. It's instances like these where I feel sort of alone - having so called friends expecting me to compromise my child's safety because they somehow feel my concerns are overblown and hey, they want what they want.
Totally sucks.
I can definitely relate so well to the emotional roller coaster as a PA mom. However, our allergist here in Tampa (Dr. Lockey-President of World Allergy Organization) has helped me so much. My son is highly allergic even to invisible traces of residue. However, Dr. Lockey still wants me to get control of myself and help my son to have as normal of a life as possible. He wants us to be forthright about his allergy and take precautions, but not live in a constant state of panic, which is not healthy for me or for my son. It made me realize how important it is for me to exude confidence in front of my son rather than falling apart at the seams. I know it's hard, but it also makes life more enjoyable to approach this problem with as much optimism and courage as possible. This alone will teach our children a very valuable lesson: life may throw some really ugly curve balls, but we will remain strong, keep our faith, and maintain a hopeful and positive outlook.
-Lisa
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