Take heart. You are not the only one! Recently a reader, Linda, shared her schooling story with me. Her daughter is in first grade this year. Since I really enjoy hearing the struggles other mom have so I know I am not alone, I thought you might enjoy it as well.
Linda's permission, here is her story in her own words:
My Food Allergy School Journey
My daughter will be in first grade in September and has been in the same public school since 3yrs old for preschool. Before she started school, they already had a peanut/nut ban in the district. The school staff and teachers/aides and even parents for the most part have all been very accommodating. However, I don't know that I'll ever be "completely" comfortable anytime I drop her off to a place where I will not be.
Experiences at the School
I have asked teachers, administrators, and the nurse if the ban is strictly peanuts or all nuts and depending on who you ask the answer varies. The teachers, including the nurse say that yes, all nuts are included in the policy. I have established a good relationship with the school nurse and office staff.
Every year on the first day of school, I bring a new set of Epipens, Benadryl, copies of the allergy/emergency plan (I got the format from the FAAN site) and a detailed memo for teachers, aides, etc. My daughter has also had an IEP and 504 plan and both of these document state her nut allergy information.
Every year on the first day of orientation a list of school rules are handed out. Included is the peanut free policy. Also, the classrooms have signs that warn of allergic kids in class, wash hands before coming in.
It Gets a Little Easier
In Kindergarten, it has gotten easier. Preschool was a little tricky because there was a celebration for every type of holiday. Also, there were other preschool classes and they used to combine for lunch and various other activities. I baked a lot of cupcakes and cookies those two years of preschool. Also, I request that the teacher give me at least one day advance notice, so I can provide something safe. I do keep safe candy in the class in case something comes up. But sometimes, other preschool classes would have treats and decide to share with my daughter's class. The teacher would call and ask if it was okay, and if it wasn't, she would give her the candy that I had supplied.
People were not bringing in items with nuts, but there was stuff from bakeries and that's a cross contamination issue. Also, sometimes people use mixes that have manufacturer warnings.
Kindergarten had less celebrations- yeah! By coincidence the teacher has to carry an Epipen for herself (non food allergy - bees), so she has training from a personal experience. This year there was another boy with the same allergy. That was great because his mom and I would take turns making something safe for them to eat. His family moved away in the spring, but it was nice for a while to have a FA buddy in class. I had three incidents where parents brought in items that were not safe, a carvel cake (the crunchies have a manufacturer's warning) and cupcakes from a bakery. When these moms found out my daughter couldn't have the items, they felt bad and apologized and asked if they could bring something else for her. I thanked them, but it's easier to just send my own treat. It made me feel nice though.
At our local Shoprite, they sell packaged cupcakes from a bakery in N.H. that is a peanut and tree-nut free facility. I always have those on hand for school. Also, I bought a cupcake holder in the shape of a cupcake, my daughter loves it and the other kids think it's neat.
Even though the policy is in effect, there's a full time nurse, I am always feel somewhat on edge during school hours. Especially when the caller ID shows a school number. But I think that's natural for FA parents. One thing that has helped my anxiety a little, is that my daughter understands her allergy now. At 3, it was hard to explain. Now she knows to ask and not take anything unless I provided it or say it's okay.
Thanks so much for sharing your experience Linda. I know many of us have "been there, done that" and are happy to know we are not alone. I know I was thrilled to see I'm not the only one that is nervous when the phone rings when Tyler is at school.
I admit I have thought about the cupcake holders that Linda talked about. I probably will buy one soon. A quick Amazon search yielded these results for those who are interested:
I admit I have thought about the cupcake holders that Linda talked about. I probably will buy one soon. A quick Amazon search yielded these results for those who are interested:
3 comments:
The first cupcake holder is the exact one that we have.
I'm glad you found my story helpful. Today was our second day of school which included a meeting with teacher and orientation by the principal. The teacher talked about the no nut policy and not to bring anything like that. Then later the principal spoke about various types of school information. At the end about 5 of us stayed to ask him a question. A man that went first was a grandfather. He said his grandson asked him to ask the principal if he could allow him to bring peanut butter sandwiches for lunch. He then said that maybe the allergy kids could have a separate table. The principal said no, I know that's hard but it's the policy. He pointed to me and mentioned my daughter has the allergy. I said yes, and that's why I like this policy and this allergy is potentially life threatening. The grandpa didn't say anything and just walked away. This annoyed me. I understand that people who don't have the allergy, don't want to be inconvenienced. However, it's one thing for actual "parents" to comment and voice concern over policies, but I felt it was completely inappropriate for a "non" parent to do this. I know that my daughter's grandparents would never have the nerve to ask for exceptions to rules at her school. As far as him recommending the separate table, why doesn't he volunteer to segregate his grandson to a table by himself?
Otherwise, new school year staring off well.
Linda
Hi-
My daughter just started kindergarten yesterday, and I found out when she came home that she sat at the "peanut-free" table by herself! The school sent home notices about there being a PA kid in the class, & they assured me they would do everything to safeguard her health, but what about her mental health? How can eating lunch at a table by herself on the first day be a good thing? I was truly broken-hearted (I am crying once again as I write this). Supposedly, classmates could join her at the table if they don't have "peanut" products, but I don't know how that will be encouraged (I will of course have to look into this). Anyone out there with any ideas on how to solve this problem (or offer alternate solutions) would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
Does your daughter have a 504 plan? If not, you may want to talk to principal/school nurse about one. It can address accomodations that a child may need at school and how to meet the child's needs. Maybe there could be a rotating schedule and different children are assigned on different days.
You're right, not fair she's at a table by herself. Best of luck in getting it resolved.
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