A Responsible Kid

One of my greatest hopes for Tyler is to raise him to be a responsible person. Regardless of whether or not he ever developed a peanut allergy, I want him to be a productive citizen that makes a positive contribution to the world. Part of this, I believe as a parent, is the ability to take care of yourself and not be a burden to others.

A few months ago, shortly after Tyler's reaction in the allergist's office, I was speaking with a fellow food allergy mom at church. She's a bit of an inspiration to me. Her son, who is allergic to eggs and tree nuts, is now a teenager. He leads a very normal life and is very involved in sports. Tyler doesn't really understand this boy's allergies (since they are not to peanuts) but has always looked up to him because the kid is just "cool."

While speaking with this mom and lamenting about Tyler's peanut allergy, she said something that comforted me then and still comforts today. She said "Kids with food allergies are more responsible than kids who don't have food allergies. They have to be."

When you think about it, that really should be true. These kids eventually will begin managing their allergies on their own. Each bite they take must be carefully analyzed or it could mean death. I don't know about you but my biggest concern as a young person was if I would be able to meet my favorite rock star some day!

The responsibility these kids are carying around, whether they realize it or not, is enourmous. It's life and death for them. Their life depends on their ability to be responsible.

As parents, we must raise our PA kids to be responsible. For our family, that means we protect and educate Tyler as much as possible. It also means that we try to give him as normal of a childhood as possible. If my husband and I help Tyler manage his allergy in a way that makes it an easy transition later rather than a rebellion issue, I think we are nearly there.

I don't pretend to have all of the answers on how to acheive this. I think it starts with a deep love for you child but also an understanding that this is their allergy and we are not acting as the food Nazi, but as an "educating protector." We are protecting our child, all while educating them in a way that helps them ultimately become resonsible enough to do it on their own some day.

At some moments it terrifies me to think I will not be the one reading the labels someday. Or the one talking to the chef. But, again, this is not my allergy. I'm protecting Tyler until he can do it himself.