Few things terrify a PA parent more than BBQ's and potlucks. Many I know just won't go. There are too many "what if's" and "what will my peanut allergic child eat?"
I completely understand the fears. I have them from time to time, as well. For our family, however, potlucks are a regular part of our life. My husband is a pastor and we have them monthly at church. Not going is not an option. Can you imagine if the pastor and his family skipped a big church-wide event each month? This would have a very negative effect on my husband's job.
I have developed, however, a bit of a strategy that has always kept Tyler safe and allowed him to eat food he loves and have a good time. Here are a few things I do to keep him safe:
*Make sure the environment is peanut-free. Our church is very concerned about Tyler's peanut allergy and they screen dishes before they allow them to be put out. Of course, I always double check. If you are going to a BBQ or potluck, talk with the person running it and see if they can have a similar policy. If they won't, you will just need to be extremely diligent (i.e. not a lot of chit-chatting with others).
*Bring a "safe" dessert and side dish. I'll admit that I don't always do the side dish thing but it's nice when I do because it gives us several options. Some of the food is cooked at the church so I see if I can read labels. But desserts are what scare me to death. So, when possible, I bring a safe option. When KFC or a large ham are served I usually allow Tyler to eat those.
*Go first in line...even if you have to cut. Even "safe" food isn't safe when goodness knows what has been held over the top of it. The safest "safe" food is before anyone else has touched it.
*Make a potluck bag. This helps us keep Tyler safe in any BBQ or potluck situation. Plus, I sometimes I forget that we are having a potluck so the "potluck bag" is stored in the trunk. Here is a picture of our bag:
Although the contents sometimes vary, right now it has:
*Mac & Cheese bowls: These things are great because all you need is a microwave, water and a spoon (also in the bag). You fill the water to the line in the bowl, zap it, and you have a safe and yummy meal most kids love. I chose this rather than soup since there is no clean-up. Just toss it in the trash when you're done!!
*Cookies: Right now we have individually packs of Oreo's and Lorna Doone cookie we deem safe. I buy them in bulk at a wholesale store so we always have plenty.
*Fruit snacks: I also buy these in bulk. These are something he usually only gets for a special occasion so they are always a hit.
*Goldfish crackers: Another hit with Tyler. What preschooler doesn't love these little guys?
*Wipes: I use these to wipe down an area where I suspect there might have been peanuts (not necessary at church potlucks...thank goodness!). Of course, they also come in handy for my messy children.
These are stored in a small bag (actually an old diaper bag). You will also note there are two of everything. This is in case my other child wants something. I don't want him to feel left out. Plus, they also come in handy when I get scattered brained and forget to refill the bag...
I will admit the options I pack may not be the healthiest in the world. But I don't concern myself so much with nutrition when I know Tyler will see many delicious things he can't have. Instead, I focus on providing him something he likes and will allow him to have a good time, all while keeping him safe.
7 comments:
I'm glad that your congregation is so concerned about Tyler's health. We just had an ice cream social at church and I was really concerned about even going. I decided it would be ok to go, but pack our 2 year old his own food from home. I took his own hot dog and bun and goldfish and Breyer's ice cream and we made sure we kept him away from the food table. It's a good thing we did; there was a huge bowl of mixed nuts (peanuts included) with m&m's in it for ice cream topping. I had just discussed my son's severe peanut allergy with the woman in charge of the toppings that morning, but that wasn't even on her mind that evening!
Angie
What great idea to bring special treats for parties like that! We keep snacks in the diaper bag to quiet the "I'm starving" comments while running errands, but they tend to be small boxes of raisins or a container of Cheerios. We don't do a lot of potlucks, but run into the same issue at family parties and I always end up feeling bad that Alex can't hang around the bowl of M&M's like the other kids. He'd rather hang around the veggie tray anyway, but it would be nice for him to get a treat as well.
Oh yes, these situations are so stressful for me. I have tended to avoid these or have them at my house lately. My little guy is at the stage where he wants to touch and put everything in his mouth. I think when he is older it will be a little easier. If we do go, I have, like you, been bringing safe things for him to eat. I learned bringing a sweet treat was so important, my little guy was devastated once when he could not share in the cake. Having his own really helps.
This is great info! I have been stressing about potlucks, and we had sort of decided not to go to them for now, at least until Martha is old enough to communicate better.
But now, I'll have to give this more thought! I think my biggest concern is other people eating food around her that is unsafe - I don't know how paranoid to be about that.
You offer lots of good tips--one I like best is "go first in line." That really cuts down on cross-contam worries. Also, my husband has a heads up a big social service agency and they have many family food events. We hardly ever allow our daughter to eat even though we ask people to keep it "peanut-free." I always bring my own dessert for her to eat and an extra entree as well. It just isn't worth the risk and she doesn't mind it at all. She's so used to it--it's just the norm for her.
It's also great that you've informed everyone about your son's allergies. The more people who know at these events, the better.
Good luck--sounds like you've got it covered for Tyler! :) Have a good Labor Day Weekend!
Our church is currently struggling with the issue of being a "nut free" church and trying to develop guidelines about allergy connected foods. I was wondering if you have posted, or could post, your church's guidelines on the issue.
Great question Sarah. I have thought of doing a post but don't have we don't have anything in writing...yet. Since my husband is the pastor and I am the nursery director, people just follow what I say. We did not have either of these luxuries at our last church and they never adopted a peanut-free policy. I lived in fear a lot.
I am working to have these things in writing in case we ever have another child with food allergies. When I do that, I will do a post on it.
Myself or my husband would be happy to speak with you or your church if there are any questions or your church just wants feedback from a pastor that deals with this, just send me an email.
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